fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
