There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
