I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
