I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
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