i already hear my dad disowning me
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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