I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
