I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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