Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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