No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
