And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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