I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
