My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize