Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
