he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
