i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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