wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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