He uses pillows to masturbate.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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