More tranny stories later!
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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