WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
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Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
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Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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