He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
