"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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