Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
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The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
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I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.