Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
she looked like the before picture.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!