White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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