You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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