The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize