they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
