You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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