I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
