mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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