Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
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I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
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I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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