This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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