god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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