Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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