booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize