I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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