I'm jealous of your bromance
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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