His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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