Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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