Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
