For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
