one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
