she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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