Your dad touched me again.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
