its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
