Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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