Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
