yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
