Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just made out with a guy for $7.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
