I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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