the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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