You're completely useless in the revolution.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
