Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
