We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
