My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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