dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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