Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
