Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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