I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize