More tranny stories later!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
