life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
