I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
