New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
