it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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