I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
