I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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